Estoy solo mucho

"The self-focused quality of emerging adulthood makes it arguably the freest time of life, at least in terms of freedom from social obligations and expectations. However, the flip side of this freedom is that emerging adults spend a considerable amount of time alone during these self-focused years. According to time-use studies across the life span, emerging adults aged 19 to 29 spend more of their leisure time alone than any other persons, except the elderly, and more of their time in productive activities alone than any other age group under 40." (Emerging Adulthood: Understanding the New Way of Coming of Age, by Jeffrey Jensen Arnett).

This passage struck me because it seems particularly relevant to my time in Barcelona so far. I have found myself with an abundance of time on my hands, and often no one but myself is around to spend it with. I have been very surprised by how strange and unsettling this seems. Anyone who knows me, best friends and acquaintances alike, would almost definitely classify me as an introvert when given the option between that an extrovert. I have always needed time to myself and have always been good at entertaining myself. I enjoy my quiet morning routine of a good cup of coffee and Good Morning America; I can spend hours going for walks and runs alone; and some days there is nothing better than spending an afternoon in a coffee shop with a book to keep me company. I know how to be alone.

Yet being in Barcelona has made me realize even more (I have started noticing this in the past year or so) that I am much more extroverted than most would think. Meyers-Briggs (Ann, if you're reading this I know you are rolling your eyes right now!) defines extroversion-introversion by how you get your energy, from within or outside yourself. The past couple of years, I find myself more and more drawn to others' company. Not necessarily a big group or a loud place, but the human desire for connection and relationship. I need to be around people a good amount in order to feel satisfied.

I have been blessed to have always been surrounded by so many wonderful people in my life, and so right now I am feeling that void more than ever. It's not to say that I don't spend a fair share of time with people here, because that's not true. But I don't have the comfort of someone I can count on to be there all the time, someone who understands me and who can be there during the daily activities of life for companionship. It's a very different experience for sure...